Taxes Information

Tax Jokes and Quotes


Do you realize that some tax forms ask you to check a box if you are BLIND?

Quote: "Two years ago it was impossible to get through on the phone to the IRS. Now it's just hard to get through. That's progress." -Charles Rossotti, former IRS Commissioner

Disappointed that you never had time to write the great American novel? Don't fret, just go dig out your past tax returns.

Quote: "The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State Building after taxes."

Under the Freedom of Information Act, a man with a small business sent a request to the IRS asking if they had a file on him. The IRS wrote back, "There is now."

Quote: "It would be nice if we could all pay our taxes with a smile, but normally cash is required."

Q: Who audits IRS agents?

Quote: "Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite as satisfying as an income tax refund."

Q: How do you drive a CPA insane?

A: Fill out Form 1040EZ.

Quote: "The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect."

Why is it that when the IRS loses a tax return, it is considered a mistake, but when you lose a receipt, it is considered tax evasion?

Quote: "The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling."

Q: How do you humble a person that flaunts their wealth?

A: Have them fill out a tax return.

Quote: "Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr."

Q: Why is a tax audit like a tornado?

A: There's a lot of screaming and you end up losing your house.

Quote: "When are we going to be allowed to list the government as a dependent?"

People often say death and taxes are the same, but this is wrong. Death is a taxable event, but taxes never die.

Richard Chapo is CEO of http://www.businesstaxrecovery.com - Obtaining tax refunds for small businesses by finding overlooked tax deductions and credits through a free tax return review.


MORE RESOURCES:

Voice of America

Export Tax That Angers Farmers Advances in Argentina
New York Times, United States - 13 hours ago
Legislators debated for more than 15 hours, starting at 7 pm on Friday, before voting 129-122 to approve the export tax system created by President Cristina ...
Argentina's lower house of congress backs grain-export taxes that ... Malaysia Star
Argentina parliament backs tax hike Aljazeera.net
Argentine MPs increase farm taxes BBC News
The Money Times - Bloomberg
all 155 news articles


School districts balance the books, many increase taxes
Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, PA - 1 hour ago
By Liz Hayes Nine of the Alle-Kiski Valley's 15 school districts will increase property taxes during the 2008-09 school year. Apollo-Ridge approved the ...


California's fiscal woes largely of its own making
Los Angeles Times, CA - 4 hours ago
Another area where change has been resisted is the state's reliance on income taxes, a volatile revenue source that plunges when the economy slows. ...


Telegraph.co.uk

Economic downturn means the next government might have to increase ...
Telegraph.co.uk, United Kingdom - Jul 5, 2008
But the outlook for the public finances suggests that the first Budget of an incoming Tory government might have to increase taxes rather than (aspire to) ...
Tories unveil reform plan for fuel duty worth 5p off litre of petrol guardian.co.uk
WE’LL SLASH 5P OFF FUEL DUTY TO HELP FAMILIES SAY TORIES UK Express
TORY PLOY TO VARY FUEL TAX 'A GIMMICK' Mirror.co.uk
The Sun - Daily Mail
all 147 news articles


That topic we love to hate
Atlanta Journal Constitution,  USA - 10 hours ago
As we all learned in history class, discontent over British-levied taxes ranked high among the grievances that led to the Declaration of Independence and ...
Miscounting Obama's Tax Votes Newsweek
Is Obama Dragging Down Stock Prices? Consumer Affairs
Pocketbook policies World Magazine
all 5 news articles


Newsday

EDITORIAL: Start cutting state taxes
Niagara Gazette, NY - Jul 5, 2008
NIAGARA FALLS — The signs from Albany that the leadership is finally getting a clue about New York’s stifling property taxes continues to be encouraging. ...
You Had a Friend in Albany New York Times
Upstate residents will judge Skelos by deeds, not words Press & Sun-Bulletin
The dean of Albany Long Island Business News (subscription)
13WHAM-TV - Buffalo News
all 16 news articles


Taxes: Shared responsibility makes citizenship priceless
Orlando Sentinel, FL - 21 hours ago
The government and those not involved in the prosecution of the war had a deep aversion to paying taxes to support the conflict, and the national government ...
Amendment 5 worries local businesses Florida Today
Tax Swap Battle Continues in Florida WCTV
all 6 news articles


BBC News

Are Swiss bank accounts really secret?
Lancaster Newspapers, PA - 1 hour ago
The IRS has summoned six of the largest accounting firms to help detect foreign banks whose US customers use secret accounts to evade taxes. ...
US expands foreign bank tax evasion probe Times Online
IRS Taps Audit Firms to Probe Foreign Bank Role in Tax Cases Bloomberg
US justice dept seeks access to UBS bank account records AFP
Financial Times - New York Times
all 430 news articles


Transportation funding looms large
Newsday, NY - 14 hours ago
"This spending plan will inevitably lead to calls for higher taxes or tolls because it fails to address the state's transportation needs," said Kean, ...


Affordability issue in governor's race
Boston Globe, United States - 13 hours ago
In late June, Douglas called a news conference to lambaste lawmakers for not doing anything this year to stem rising property taxes. ...

Taxes - Google News

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